Modern-Day Stress:
Our Survival Mechanism Gone Awry

Judy sat at her desk feeling completely exhausted. She had been working on a case fraught with complicated issues. There was a lot at stake for her client, and opposing counsel was particularly exasperating due to a contentious style that included the creation of meaningless obstacles as a primary strategy. Judy's sleep had suffered for weeks; she constantly felt a constriction in her chest and had a churning stomach. Initially her focus on the case had been sufficient. In fact, at times the work unfolded at an accelerated pace because the adrenaline was flowing, but unfortunately this feeling didn't last. After a while, mental confusion took hold as a constant demon, and she was barely able to slog through the day. Now, just thinking about the trial date caused her heart to audibly pound. How was she going to carry this out with a reasonable degree of professionalism? More importantly, how could she continue practicing as an attorney when this pattern was becoming the norm? Judy was experiencing a generalized sense of fear and felt that many facets of her life were spinning out of control. Her circumstance illustrates how the elegantly designed life-saving stress response can convert into the dreaded sustained stress response that inevitably wreaks physical and emotional havoc.

Stress has become that ubiquitous term for our response to the enormity of life's experience, specifically the inevitability of life's disappointments, sorrows, tragedies and all those little things that go wrong. Any concept that encompasses such a vast scope of human experience is unquestionably complex, yet the essence of stress can be described in very simple terms. One basic definition of stress is "a cognitive, emotional and physiological response to a life demand." Those cognitive and emotional aspects of the definition suggest that individual perceptions of stress are subjective. The stress response, however, also triggers a series of significant, identifiable physiological changes which, in the face of real danger, maximize one's chances for survival. Colossal surges from the adrenal glands and the mobilization of other hormones cause increases in heart rate, blood pressure, blood sugar, muscle tension and brain activity. Digestion ceases and peripheral blood vessels constrict. The body is braced for an emergency with enhanced strength and alertness.

The stress response can be a lifesaver if there is an immediate, physical threat that must be faced. If, however, this stress response is frequently tripped and becomes established as a chronic hyper-alert state, its protective purpose is turned upside down. In fact, medical research provides compelling evidence of a strong relationship between chronic stress and certain illnesses, specifically heart disease, hypertension, depression and compromised immune response. Immune suppression is particularly problematic, as it leaves one vulnerable to a vast array of diseases and physical malfunction.

How does this life-saving reaction paradoxically transmute into a potentially formidable threat to our physical and emotional well-being? Modern life dishes up a vast array of complex situations, and our hardwired capability has created an anxiety state that is often out of proportion and out of place in the circumstance, like Judy's response to her difficult case and contentious opponent. Repeated bouts of anxiety triggering high levels of stress are related to situations that we actually can live with, not ones that pose actual danger of the saber-toothed-tiger variety that we need to fight with or flee from.

Many circumstances and events in our lives are, by themselves, neutral. They are infused with specific meaning as a result of our learned perceptions and interpretations. Society's master teachers, usually our primary caregivers, lay the groundwork when we are children, and the prevailing culture continues to shape and define our reality as we become adults. Over time our stress responses happen automatically and unconsciously, as though they are part of our very fiber. What accounts for the variability among individuals as to what is stress-provoking is the idiosyncratic sensitization process each person is exposed to. In other words, what each of us experiences and learns shapes our perceptions and interpretations of situations and events. These are very powerful influences in our lives, yet we may be totally oblivious to the often distorted lens through which we view our perceptions.

The legal profession is particularly susceptible to stress because of unrealistic performance demands, the inherent adversarial nature of law, and seemingly endless deadlines. Add to that unreasonably high expectations, established and reinforced by one's incessant internal messages and insidious cultural influences. These powerful stresses come in the guise of thoughts and beliefs such as:

• Making mistakes is terrible.

• It is essential to be loved by everyone.

• I must always be competent.

• Every problem has a perfect solution.

• If others criticize me, I must have done something wrong.

• I can't change the way I think.

• I must rarely show weakness or cry.

• Strong people do not ask for help.

• Everything is within my control.

• Other people should see things the same way I do.

• The world ought to be fair.

In a profession that provides the perceived possibility of an enviable level of prestige and status, along with the potential for lucrative income, one's self worth and intrinsic value are constantly on the line. Humans are a unique species among the animal kingdom in that we have the capacity for self-awareness. The judgment of others, as well as our own judgment (whether in the form of criticism or approval), can smother our spirit. Criticism inflicts the obvious wounds, but the need for approval leaves us no resting place and fosters relentless striving. Even as we receive approval we're fearful of its withdrawal, so we spend our lives pursuing it. So much time and energy is squandered on maintaining this elusive high approval rating that we lose our direction and, in the process, our sense of who we are.

We live in a society of unprecedented wealth. We are well-fed, sheltered and educated. Yet, ironically, our sense of self worth and what is satisfying eludes us as never before. This is not on the mind of the lion battling for dominance, nor the rabbit scurrying from becoming some other beast's prey. We are an anomaly among living creatures as we desperately try to protect ourselves and survive both physically and psychologically, as even a mild criticism of one's performance can be responded to as though it were a mortal attack, a threat to one's very survival.

There is an instinctive inclination to eliminate the stress. Some favorite coping mechanisms that can temporarily alleviate stress are, however, disastrous in the long run. They provide only temporary refuge, escape or release, and at considerable personal cost.

• Alcohol and Drug Use. Misuse and abuse of substances is a serious problem for many members of the legal community, often leading to the destruction of careers in the absence of timely intervention.

• Uncontrolled Anger. Anger, used appropriately, can be activating and effective. Excessive, unconfined anger is physiologically damaging, besmirching to one's professional reputation, and devastating to relationships.

• Work Addiction. Don't use your profession as a means of avoiding the examination of life's problems. Work addiction is rampant within the legal profession and takes its toll, as the unexamined issues inevitably come back to haunt us in some inescapable fashion.

• Take honest inventory of all that you ingest, and then make healthy selections. Dramatically increase vegetables, fruits and whole grains in your diet, and minimize sugars. You are what you eat, and foods have very specific effects on body chemistry.

• Determine your sleep requirements and try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Research shows that the majority of Americans are sleep-deprived, which can affect work performance and emotional equilibrium.

• Incorporate physical exercise into your life. If you're not accustomed to regular exercise, select something easy to begin with, like walking; it can be done just about anywhere, in just about any kind of weather, with or without a companion. It can be slow or vigorous, depending on conditioning or mood.

• Examine those expectations that are riding roughshod on your life. If there's a whiff of perfectionism or intolerance for frailties, flaws and mistakes, know it for what it is — irrational thinking. Reset standards so they accommodate your humanness and are reality-based.

• Look at your professional and personal environments. Remove the clutter. Identify what you find to be aesthetically pleasing, and set up an organizational plan that makes sense to you. Make efforts to create physical spaces that reflect those preferences.

• Scrutinize your attitudes and values and become more attuned to how you interpret life events. How do they influence your choices and responses? Our culture does not contribute to our feeling good about ourselves. If we're not productive or accomplishing something "significant," feelings of failure seep in. Reassess the beliefs governing your life. Changes one might make that "fly in the face" of our cultural norms may, in fact, provide immense relief by opening our minds and broadening our perspectives.

• Allow time for planning, yet realize much is out of one's control. Stress and dissatisfaction occur if we have determined that our happiness and contentment can be experienced only when life provides us with specific outcomes. We have then given over the control of our well-being to external, often random forces.

• Learn how to comfortably and respectfully say "no."

• Become attuned to your natural rhythm and pace. You will experience a sense of personal control, be less fatigued and resentful, be more efficient, and generally feel more authentic and "in sync" with who you are.

• Learn how to accommodate people who upset you. Know they are hurting (we're the nastiest when we feel threatened). Muster up compassion, maintain your dignity, and keep contact to a minimum. If it is someone in your personal life, ask what keeps you in that relationship. If it is not possible to eliminate the relationship, how can you be healthier within it?

• Reduce disturbing, anxiety-producing input and stimulation. American society is barraged with seemingly limitless, indiscriminate information and visual images. Become your own editor and "delete" those sources of stress-provoking material.

• Learn the art of relaxation. Look into meditation, yoga, catnaps, short walks.

• Talk out your problems with a trusted friend or professional. Talking can normalize a situation that can take on frightening proportions if not verbalized.

• Establish a support network of caring people. It can, but does not need to, include family; it can be just one significant person. Initially, it may be a professional who is trustworthy.

The truth is there is no magic wand, no sure-fire formula for that elusive life of minimal stress. The good news is that it is within anyone's capability to make changes and to bring about some attitudinal shifts so that life can actually be experienced in a different and expanded way. It takes time, effort, patience, and a suspension of firmly held beliefs as to just when and how this process will unfold. There may be dramatic epiphanies or "light bulb" realizations, but more often there is subtle movement and gradual shifting. It is about bringing grace, a sense of balance, and humor to the unexpected, difficult and strange times. Just toying with the idea of cultivating appreciation for ambiguity, mystery and the complexity of human life takes us off the hook of trying to control, explain, change and judge. Having allowed some room to be really present with oneself and with others, our miraculous stress response can operate as it should, working for us instead of against us.