April 2001

An April Fool

by Jan Eric Peterson, WSBA President

Stop! Commit 12 minutes to reading this now, or save it for later when you can spare the 12 minutes. If you don't have time, then you really need to read this. If you are at the office, on an airplane, at home, on "vacation" catching up on your professional reading, wherever — stop. Take a deep breath. Reserve 11 minutes now and slow down.

This article will come out on April Fool's Day, which calls for humor, but my point will be no joke. At a recent ABA meeting of the National Council of Bar Presidents, I heard a truly wonderful speaker from the California Court of Appeals. First, he noted some of the real foolishness in the law, mostly legislative, that we have to deal with. In Orange County, California, for example, there are 73 laws, some creating crimes involving kiwi fruit! There are only six regarding murder. Spousal abuse in the fourth degree results in only a $250 fine. Doing harm to a bird (except swallows) in a cemetery is a felony. Obviously, the swallows have a lousy lobbyist.

Not long ago in Seattle it was a crime to "hoot" so as to disturb others. I'm not even sure what that means. I discovered this crime while defending Hare Krishnas charged with chanting, but I don't really give a hoot (shhh, not too loud). There is much foolishness on the books, but I suppose one man's foolishness is another's religion. It just shouldn't be a statute.

The judge went on to observe that our profession subjects us to a great deal of stress. Heavy caseloads, deadlines, billable-hour quotas, overhead and financial pressure. Don't make a mistake — someone is depending on your perfection. Rules, rules, rules. Winning, promotions, partnership, success! More, more, more. Faster, faster, faster at the warp speed of the cellular cyber information age. Many years down the road, too many of us will be asking, "What's it all about, Alfie? Is this all there is?"

My 44-year-old friend, big, strong John — athlete, high-profile education administrator, family man, father of two great kids — was suddenly felled by a massive coronary. Dead! And my doctor said, "I don't like the size of your thyroid." Ultrasound, biopsy, cancer scare. Pow, wow! It can all be over just like that. And fate is indiscriminate, no matter how great you are or how undeserving. I'd be a fool to put real life off any longer.

So what's important? Sure, your clients and cases are important. Are they more important than your family? You've got five minutes left of the time you committed to me. Stop, no matter where you are now or what you have to do next. It can wait. You can't. So right now, pick up the phone and call your spouse just to say "I love you." Call your mother. Go get your kids and take them for ice cream today. Go outside and walk without a destination. Look around you. Smile at someone.

I love lawyers and I'm proud to be one, but it isn't everything. Be a person, too — a whole person, a parent and a spouse first — a coach, a player, a painter, a teammate, a friend. It is spring, a time of new life. Get one. Don't be another April fool.

P.S. Time's up. You're free to do what you want, even if it's going back to work.

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