December 2007

2007 Gifts

by Jeff Tolman

Columnist Jeff Tolman reflects on a year of gifts — as a lawyer, colleague, friend, husband, and father

January: Shortly after 2007 began, my assistant’s house burned to the ground. From the burning inferno, she, her dog, and her purse were the only survivors. Everything else was lost. To say she was devastated would be an understatement. No family pictures remained, no clothes, no documents. When I got to the office Monday morning, I posted an e-mail on our county bar association e-mail list about the tragedy. Sharon had worked in three law firms in the county over 15 years. I assumed there would be some empathy and help. $300—400, I predicted. The first day, $1,500 arrived. She was thrilled and overwhelmed and, more than anything, truly astounded that so many people cared enough to take action. I, too, was overwhelmed by the generosity of my colleagues. Some lawyers knew Sharon well, others not at all, yet they understood the loss and gave to a member of the extended legal community. My January gift was a reminder of the power of generosity.

February: Two different clients came in with agreements they’d pulled off the Internet. One covered a transaction worth $350,000, the other a house sale for $700,000. Both agreements were awful and caused more problems than they solved. The $1,000 or so I would have charged to draft appropriate documents is a lot less than they’ll spend for me to stitch up the bleeding their agreements caused. My February gift was realizing that I am still a better lawyer than the Internet, and being reminded that an experienced lawyer will save clients a lot of money if given the opportunity.

March: My proposal to have the silhouette of Chief Justice Gerry Alexander on the Washington state quarter goes unheeded. Instead, Mount Rainier and a salmon are chosen. Wrong decision. The Chief is smarter than all of the salmon in Washington combined, and younger and less likely to erupt than Mount Rainier. Most important, he is what we lawyers, judges, and citizens should be like. If people across the country envisioned we Washingtonians as Gerry Alexander, it would be quite a compliment. My March gift was realizing that having role models is still an important part of my personality.

April: A colleague of mine, a fine person and lawyer, files bankruptcy. Unfortunately, my April gift is the reminder that our profession must be a combination of heart and head; that as we work for charities and pro bono, we must also watch out for ourselves.

May: Laurie and I go to France. I struggle with the language, am amazed by the scenery, and realize that the French may be right to have a mid-day couple of hours for a long lunch, a glass of wine, and a nap. My May gift was going away from the office and realizing that, after 29 years, I still look forward to coming back.

June: I read a new study, Social Isolation in America, which reports a sharp decline in friendships. The average American, according to the report, has two friends. Nearly a quarter of the people surveyed reported having no one to confide in. Our frenetic lives — and the Internet — are killing personal relationships. This is a scary realization. One of the great joys of practicing law is the human interaction, the friends I’ve made. My June gift is a reminder to call my friends more often and assure them that we are in this profession, and life, together.

July: My sons enter the next chapters of their lives. Chris begins flying for American Eagle; Andy is looking for a job in D.C. as a legislative staffer (anyone who has an “in” with a senator or representative, please call. Andy is a great young man!). The little boys I played catch and hide-and-seek with are now men — fortunately, good, honest, hard-working men who call their parents even when they don’t need money and still say “I love you.” My July gift is raw pride in my offspring.

August: Three golf pals and I travel to Scotland and play in the Carnegie Shield at the Highlands. Royal Dornoch Golf Club is the hardest course I’ve ever played. By far. In the wind and rain, trying to dodge the deep bunkers and tall rough, I shoot 118. I hadn’t shot 118 since I weighed 118, and didn’t plan on shooting it again until I was 118! Such is the game of links golf. Through it all, I am smiling. What would I rather be doing than playing golf, in Scotland, with my friends, meeting new people from around the globe? My August gift is the reminder that a golf score is just that, a golf score.

September: I make a hospital call to a client who has leukemia. He is quite appreciative. My September gift was the appreciation of having good health. No surgeries or major illnesses. As a client of mine said, “Happiness is just another way of saying good health.”

October: A friend stopped by for coffee early one morning. His mother had just moved into a local assisted-living complex. He had dinner with her the first night. “How was your dinner?” I asked. “Good,” he responded. “I looked around at the tables. At Mom’s table were folks I had done wills for, and for one, I represented their daughter in her divorce. Across from Mom was a fine lady I had represented in a contentious boundary dispute 30 years ago. At the next table were two people for whom I’d written a partnership agreement in 1978 to buy some investment property. The income from that property is paying for their care now....” And on he went, around the room, not realizing even as he told the tale how many of the people there he had helped as a lawyer. My October gift was the reminder of how many lives we touch professionally.

November: My workdays were filled with new clients, facts, problems, and experiences. I continue to be amazed and invigorated by the variety and uniqueness of every workday lawyers have. Few jobs are like that. What more could any worker ask for? My November — Thanksgiving month — gift is appreciating the excitement each morning of wondering what the day will bring, and that clients continue to ask me to be part of their personal problem-solving.

December: 2008 is nearly here. Another year has passed. Quickly. Way too quickly. 2008 will be my 55th year. That used to be old. I always assumed 55-year-olds were boring, wrinkled, asexual, and on their last legs. Instead, my family, friends, and I have more plans than ever. Travel. Golf. Laurie will be near graduation from college. New and old clients and cases to keep me active and working hard. Maybe a grandchild this year or next. Watching my kids earn their stripes working hard at their new careers. Perhaps most important, knowing there will be gifts to give and to receive over the next 12 months. Happy holidays. May your 2008 be happy and healthy. 

Jeff Tolman is a former member of the WBSA Board of Governors and practices in Poulsbo. He can be reached at jefft851@aol.com.