October 2005
The Modern Lawyer’s Test
by Jeff Tolman
The new millennium is in full swing, and all the legal visionaries say our profession is destined to mutate. The old days of client relations and traditional forms of billing will soon disappear. In their place will be MDPs (Multi-disciplinary Practice groups); officeless, paperless lawyers who meet clients over the Internet; and transitory clients who will negotiate the best deal each time they need legal services. The days of lawyers like me will go the way of the dinosaur and passenger pigeon.
To see how prepared you are for these changes, the Modern Lawyer’s Test follows. Will you end up like me, a pauper surrounded by long-term, valued clients? Or will you be one of the new generation of cyberprofessionals, who, according to the prophets, will excel in our new professional world?
1. Why did you become a lawyer?
___ I always dreamed of dividing my workday into six-minute increments.
___ A longtime goal has been to have a student loan debt bigger than the average annual NBA salary.
___ To help people.
___ I thought Atticus Finch was cool.
___ I thought Atticus Finch was rich.
2. A tenth of an hour is
___ A unit for measuring a lawyer’s billings.
___ A unit for measuring a lawyer’s life.
___ An outdated unit of measurement. New instruments can divide time accurately into thousandths of an hour.
3. Billable time differs from real time in the following ways:
___ None.
___ There are in excess of 30 billable hours in a day, only 24 clock hours.
___ One is precise, the other only an estimate.
___ There is no leap year in billable time.
4. You know you are spending too much time at the office when:
___ You tell your child to be home at three-tenths of an hour after five.
___ You are agitated by the inaccuracy of the stove clock that measures the roast you are cooking only in minutes.
___ Your conversation during your family dinner sounds like you are dictating.
___ You greet your child, “Good evening, Scott, it’s always nice to see you. Please follow me back to the conference room.”
5. The proper balance between time at your office and time with your family is:
___ 2,000 hours to bill at the office; 1,000 hours to chart as a parent.
___ 2,000 hours to bill at the office; do what you can at home.
___ Bill what you have to so you won’t get fired; coach at least two of your kid’s teams each year.
___ If you get a standing ovation when you enter the house, you aren’t home enough.
6. Lawyers should be leaders in the community and active in the bar association:
___ When?
___ How?
___ Why?
___ Yeah, right!!
7. Why would a lawyer want to be a judge?
___ Judges work 40-hour weeks and get six weeks a year off.
___ Judges don’t have billing quotas.
___ Judges make $120,000 a year and recognize their kids.
___ Judges get the last word in and lawyers say “Thank you, your Honor” even when they think the jurist is an idiot.
___ You’ve always wanted to send someone to prison.
8. When a multi-disciplinary practice is allowed, you want to be partners with the following people:
___ Mortician. Probates are good work.
___ Doctor. Dad always said, “Only be partners with people who make more money than you.”
___ Financial planner. You’d be rich if you didn’t have to pay a commission on every stock trade.
___ Police officer. They know all of the people in legal trouble.
9. You know you have a good client when:
___ They are the third generation of a family you have represented.
___ They don’t bring in Internet printouts from online law sites to their appointment.
___ They don’t threaten to go to another law firm unless you lower your rates from the last matter you represented them on.
___ They say thank you after the appointment, and ask where the bookkeeper is so they can pay their bill.
10. The best reason to have staff is:
___ Someone to blame mistakes on.
___ Someone to check the voicemail while you are playing golf.
___ Someone to visit with between appointments.
___ With voice mail and computers, there is none.
11. The main advantage of voicemail is:
___ Clients can leave detailed messages.
___ You can screen your calls and talk only to the clients you want.
___ You can tell people, “I am temporarily away from the office or with a client” when you aren’t, and no one will know.
___ You have more control of your time without client interruptions.
12. The best reward a lawyer can get is:
___ Having the bill paid.
___ Receiving a thank you from a client.
___ Becoming a partner so you will get some of the money the associates are billing.
___ Twenty-two percent a year return on your 401(k).
13. You have a webpage because:
___ You can’t snag local clients.
___ The old lawyer down the street will never get the third generation of most families. The kids are too young and too cybersmart.
___ You succumbed to the constant sales pitches of invading webmasters.
___ Who needs to see clients face-to-face? You don’t have to feel their pain if you don’t see them.
___ You want to appear more computer literate than you are.
14. Clients who expect their calls to be returned:
___ Are behind the times. Don’t they have e-mail?
___ Are unreasonable. Doctors don’t return their calls; why should lawyers?
___ Are usually calling to complain about something.
___ Are obviously obsessing too much about their problems.
15. Client service is:
___ Old news. No one does it except the lawyer down the street with all the clients.
___ The major difference between lawyers who will be successful and not.
___ For lawyers who don’t have enough work.
___ Overemphasized. Most clients’ problems will work themselves out over time.
If you answered the questions in a way that emphasized the importance of technology, you are ready for the great evolution of our profession. If you answered the questions emphasizing client relationships, you have a satisfying practice. If you answered the questions in a way that emphasized spending time with your family, find a work situation that will allow that. If you answered the questions emphasizing the negatives of our profession, good luck.
The new millennium is in full swing, and all the legal visionaries say our profession is destined to mutate. But don’t tell my clients. They still think that having someone they know who cares about them and returns their calls, who assists them through their legal troubles is the wave of the future.
© Jeff Tolman 2004. Jeff Tolman practices law in Poulsbo. He has served on the WSBA Board of Governors, and is a frequent speaker and writer on law-related topics.
