Looking Back on the Rewards of a Dynamic Year

by Jeff Tolman

2008 is nearly done. What a year it’s been. Certainly the most unsettled, and unsettling, in my five-and-a-half decades of life.

So what have I learned this year? What holiday gifts have I received over the past 12 months that changed me?

• Early on in the financial crisis, I was riding in a cab to the ferry. “What do you think of all the economic chaos?” I asked the cab driver. He cautiously checked me out in the rear-view mirror, deciding how much to say. Finally he said, “I work 12 hours a day, seven days a week, to pay for my cab and feed my family. The stock market has nothing to do with me.” I was reminded that owning securities and investments and a (hopefully someday) retirement portfolio is a blessing, even when it’s tumbling down a financial cliff.

• Some years ago I gave a public speech. A woman glared at me the entire time. My sense was that she had been through an awful divorce and truly hated lawyers. After my remarks I asked, “Are there any questions?” She immediately raised her hand. When I called on her she said, “Mr. Tolman, in essence you make your living on your mastery of the English language, don’t you?” “Sure, I guess,” I said, waiting for the trap to close. “Then,” she responded, “what are the two most beautiful phrases in the English language?” “That’s easy,” I said. “‘I love you, Dad’ and ‘I’d like you to meet my lawyer, Jeff Tolman.’” Recently, I’ve come to question my answer. A new beautiful phrase has crept into the Tolmans’ conversation this fall. A 2009 moniker I will cherish: Grandpa.

• The moving-truck driver called my son, Andy. He was three miles from Andy and Lindsey’s new apartment. They would be outside waiting for him, he said. As they waited, two of their new neighbors stopped and were welcoming them to the complex when they received another call from the driver. The moving truck had missed a corner, crashed, and destroyed almost everything Andy and Lindsey owned. They had an empty apartment, a few clothes, two cats, some golf clubs and hockey gear, and new jobs that were to start in three days. For a moment, the world seemed pretty dim for the kids. Then neighbors fed them and they became friends. My wife, Laurie, flew out to help refurnish an apartment. The renters’ insurance company responded quickly and advanced the kids money for some basic immediate needs. Now, five months later, Andy and Lindsey have realized that material things are just things. No one was badly hurt. The people around them who scrambled to help these strangers are now friends.

• A dear friend of ours, a gifted tradesman, called our house. Some months before I had mentioned, as an aside at a lunchtime discussion, that we were interested in some work being done at our home. He asked if we were still interested and, if so, he was available at our convenience. It struck me that as long as I have work on my desk and paying clients coming in the door, life is not too bad.

• My client was sitting on a bench outside a shop when a car, out of control, struck her and broke her back. She was born the same week in 1953 as I was. It is easy for me to understand the hopes and dreams and adventures her future held. I have similar aspirations and plans. Now her great hope is that she will be able to get around in a wheelchair someday. I was reminded that good health is a gift. Enjoy life each day you can.

• In September, in my part-time judge’s robe, I married the granddaughter of my first next-door neighbor in Poulsbo. I still drink my Sunday morning coffee out of a cup the bride’s grandma gave me nearly three decades ago for my wedding. The bride’s mom, a cancer victim, was a dear friend of mine. It was a great honor to be able to preside over the nuptials. As we went through the ceremony, tears of joy running down the faces of the wedding party (and, a time or two, down the officiant), I told the groom and others assembled what the bride had shared with me the week before — one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard — how we all should feel as we marry: “If, a week before her wedding, my daughter felt as loved and cared for, as thrilled and excited, as I do today, a week before my wedding, I’d be the happiest mom on Earth.” It doesn’t get better than that.

• A client came in to have her signature notarized. We began the usual chit-chat. And on she went. And on. And on. Telling me about how she was doing since her husband’s passing; how she likes her new assisted-care housing; how her kids are. Then she asked about my family. Soon half an hour had passed — a longer notarization period than I’d expected. Despite the simmering pile of work on my desk awaiting my attention, I realized what had really happened. After 25 years of being her lawyer, I was part of her family. She wanted to tell me about her life. She genuinely wanted to know about mine. Her half-hour notarization reminded me of one of my — and most of my colleagues' — goals as a lawyer: to affect people’s lives in a positive way, and how, when each of us have such discussions with our clients, we have been successful.

• A hotly contested boundary dispute came into the office. The other party was represented by a wonderful local lawyer and good friend of mine. Opposing counsel and I immediately determined what facts were agreed and contested, and created a plan to resolve the dispute quickly and cheaply through binding arbitration. Within three days of presenting the proposal to our clients, both of us were fired. “I need a bad cop,” my client said as he took his file. This year I was reminded that you don’t marry everyone you date. I am certainly not the right lawyer for every client.

• On a dark October night, seven “senior” lawyers (and one “junior” lawyer who must carry the tales on to the next generation) met in my office to share a pizza, cold beer, and tales of a combined 250 years of law practice. What a wonderful time it was! We were regaled with the old tales of our profession past. I brought a copy of the 1970 Kitsap Bar Minimum Fee Schedule and we compared our prices then and now on varying legal work. We discussed the changes over three decades in law as a business. Though certainly “road-worn” from the stressful work, each lawyer present had lived a varied, interesting professional career. Most of all, we were reminded that among the advocacy, lawsuits with and against each other, the colorful clients we’ve had, the judges and lawyers who taught us our craft, practicing law is, really, a pretty good way to spend your work life. What a nice present to receive any year.

Happy holidays! 

Jeff Tolman is a former member of the WBSA Board of Governors and practices in Poulsbo. He can be reached at jefft851@aol.com.